Intimacy is about more than just sex.  It involves trust, respect, communication, and commitment.  These things don’t fall into place just because you share yourself with someone physically.  A healthy relationship is about getting to know someone for who they are, what they believe, what makes them laugh, what’s important to them, and caring about what happens to them… sex can distract you from really knowing someone and can put both of you at risk.

OXYTOCIN is a bonding hormone that our bodies release to create an emotional bond in relationships.  It’s released in its highest doses during childbirth and breastfeeding to bond the mother and child, and also during consensual sex (where both people are willing).  It is not released when there are negative emotions present, like in cases of rape or sexual abuse.

If this bond is formed in a temporary relationship and then that relationship breaks up, that bond breaks too, which can be the reason for some of the emotional and mental consequences like hurt, confusion, and anger that are felt when a sexual relationship ends.  These emotions may be present when any romantic relationship ends, even if it was not a sexual relationship.  However, these feelings are magnified if the relationship did involve sex because of the bond formed by the release of Oxytocin.

If this bond is formed and broken several times (which is often what we see modeled in TV shows, movies, music, and magazines), your body can have a difficult time bonding in the future, possibly having negative effects on your future marriage.

Time for a change.